A
few months
back, while researching the
ring-finger piece, I came across
something
that I haven’t been able to get out of my head. Not
something in any of
the source articles themselves, but rather in
the pissed-off comments from people at the bottom.
Obviously,
it is not remarkable that people on the internet were pissed — any article about gender difference
being rooted in biology is going to have angry comments from feminists at the
bottom,
just like how any YouTube video of a Black guy wiping out is going to have
poorly-spelled racist comments at the bottom. What was interesting
was the high
incidence of comments cracking wise about religious
sexism: Adam and Eve, and God making the genders different,
and the Pope saying
that stuff about women being good listeners and all that.
The
feminists
weren’t accusing the scientists who conducted the studies, or
the journalists
who reported the findings, of being
religious exactly — they were just declining to make a
distinction, typing
comments to the effect of “Duh why cant u just accept it God
made you different
ya right” as if dismissals of religious gender-difference
arguments also
functioned as dismissals of scientific gender-difference arguments.
This
floored me. Surely, whatever your
views about gender, everyone
knows that scientists are the
opposite
of religious people.
Right?
Well, it
occurred to
me that, like so much does in this universe, this may depend on where
the
observer is standing (philosophically speaking). And
the more I thought about it over the
subsequent weeks, the more argument situations I found that this model
applies
to.
Picture
it
going on in physical space: you are standing between two tall
buildings. You can plainly see
that there is a good deal
of physical space between them (obviously, since you are currently
occupying
that space). Now
get a few blocks away:
the distance between them seems shorter. Now
get miles away, so
that the buildings are on the horizon: the space
between them has disappeared, to a point where they now appear to you
to be one
single building rather than two. You
and
the two buildings actually form a triangle, but from where you are
standing, it
appears to you that you form a straight line.
Now
apply that
analogy to philosophy:
I’ve
written
other articles pointing out the ways in which Academic Feminism appears to be
similar to religious fundamentalism, of course. But
what hit me when I
saw those comments is the fact that the same
effect is going on at all three points on the triangle, not just mine
(I know I’m
not a scientist by profession, but I have a scientific worldview, and
so for
the purposes of this analogy I’m on the Science point of the
triangle). From the point of view
of a Feminist, the
groups “Scientists” and “Religious
People” are collapsed into “People
Oppressing Women By Arguing That They Are Inherently Different From
Men.” From the point of view
of a Scientist, the
groups “Religious People” and
“Feminists” are collapsed into “People
Who Ignore
Empirical Evidence Based On What They Want To Be True.” And
from the point of view of a Religious
Person, “Feminists” and
“Scientists” are collapsed into “People
Who Seek To
Undermine Traditional Religious Beliefs, Customs, and Values.”
And
it’s not
like this is the only Philosophical Mexican Standoff (the thing in a
movie
where three people all draw guns on one another at the same time) where
the
analogy holds. Once you start running
with it, you can think of tons more.
In
this
Collapsible Triangle, the Conservative Government combines
“Liberal Teachers”
and “Teenagers” into “Pot-Smoking,
Sex-Having, Cynical, Unpatriotic Goof-Offs.” The
Liberal Teachers, in turn, see both the
teens and the government as “People Who Hurt Others With
Their Uneducated
Aggressiveness.” And finally, the
teenagers simply see “People Who Are Always
Telling Me What To Do.”
Assuming
the
Hawks and Hippies are in the same country, the Terrorists will see them
both
only as “Infidels” (or “Decadent
Westerners” if it is the Imperial Communists
from 50 years ago). The Hippies will
look at the Hawks and Terrorists/Communists and see “People
Who Try To Solve
Everything With Violence.” And
the
G.I.Joe crowd will see only “People Standing In The Way Of
Freedom” (or
whatever).
It
even works
with art:
The
Bubblegum
Pop fans will look at the Metalheads and Grungers and see only
“Loud Guitar
Music That You Can’t Even Dance To.” The
Alt kids will dismiss both Cock Rock and Dance Pop as
“Mindless Drivel For The
Masses.” And the Metal Dudes
will oppose
both Alt and Pop as “Music For Pussies.” (I’m
sure
there are a million ways to do this with various genres and
sub-genres and sub-sub-genres of popular music, but this was the first
one that
sprang to mind.)
This
model
explains nothing about who is “right” regarding any
of the issues to which it’s
applied, of course. It isn’t
supposed
to. What it is supposed to
do is help us examine the ways in which our philosophical
oppositings aren’t
as accurate as we think they are. Now,
I’m
certainly not pulling from the P.C. Playbook here and trying to say
that there
are no opposites (“the tyranny of the binary,” as a '90s Humanities Professor
would have put it). Any of the hard
sciences will inform you that the natural world has opposites coming
out its
ass (wherever that might be).
But
philosophy
is not a hard science (i.e., although it is often
“hard” in the sense of
“difficult,”
it is not one of the hard
sciences,
e.g., physics, chemistry). The hard
sciences start with the external world and try to get information
about
it into our brains; philosophy starts with our brains and tries to get
information about them into the external world (i.e., into books,
whence into
other people’s brains). And
the flaw in talking
about beliefs having opposites is that it rests
on the assumption that human thought behaves like objects in
three-dimensional
spacetime (i.e., physical “real life” as we are
used to seeing it). And this is rather
arbitrary. Yes, the brain is a
physical object operating
in three-dimensional spacetime, as are all of its component parts and
impulses,
even the really really tiny ones, but
thought itself — that is, being in the
state of experiencing a thought — is
not itself a physical operation, but
rather the non-physical impression we get as a result.
This
mistake is
understandable, since it is quite literally impossible for us to think
about
anything behaving in any other way. I
am
getting out of my depth here, but as I understand it, even Stephen
Hawking et
al cannot picture,
say, objects
operating in twelve-dimensional spacetime, but only perform the math
that
represents such operations (what we can picture mentally is limited by
how we
see, and although the brains of world-class physicists are very
different from
ours, their eyes are not). That is the
point of advanced math: it is a symbolic system that allows us to
communicate
at a level beyond the sense that observation is capable of making
(e.g., you
cannot see negative
five apples).
The
Collapsible
Triangle is a simple mathematical metaphor that
can
help
people work out the kinks in their argumentative perception.
Somehow,
scientists, feminists, and fundies (for
example) really are all
the opposite
of one another, even though our minds, as trained by both the
observable physical
world and traditional argumentation, insist that "opposite"
means there are only two of whatever’s going on.
In
addition to helping
us sharpen our own arguments, keeping the Collapsible Triangle in mind
can help
us disarm arguments unfairly leveled at us: “Maybe this
person who’s pissed at
me isn’t actually pissed at me, but rather is under the
impression that I’m
the same as some other people who I’m not really the same as,
so my first move
should be to figure out which other people she/he has in mind and
distinguish
myself from them.” You and the other
person may still end up disagreeing about a lot, but at least
you’ll both be
directing the right arguments at the right person.
It’s
also
beneficial because it
makes you more aware of “the
enemy of my enemy is my friend” situations and the
Machiavellian
allegiance-switching that they demand: in the ‘90s, feminists
and spiritualists
teamed up against logic, but then when the fundies got too powerful
under
George W. Bush, the rationalists and feminists teamed up against the
Religious
Right (and although no society has yet become matriarchal enough for
this to
happen on a grand scale, on certain college campuses it has become
necessary
for religious and rationalist students to work together to resist
feminist tyranny). This
process is a pain to people who wish
that one of the points on the triangle — i.e., their
own — would just win
already, but it is, I suppose,
comforting to those who like the idea of society eternally shifting to
remain “in
balance.”
I’ll
close by
remarking on how strange it is (to me) that I can’t find this
rubric reflected
in Myth anywhere. Most religions,
legends, etc., divvied up their metaphysics either among many Gods with
a
panoply of duties and personalities (e.g., the Greek Gods, the Norse
Gods) or
between two, a “good” one and an
“evil” one (e.g., Zoroastrianism,
Judeo-Christianity, and yes I know these religions are monotheistic and
hence
have one official creator God, but despite this there is somehow always
also an
evil counterpart whom, despite being officially less powerful than the
good God,
the good God doesn’t just destroy for some reason, so
monotheistic religions
are actually dualistic). To my
knowledge, there has never been a mythos involving three
and only three
Gods, all cyclically waxing and waning in
power, with the less powerful two always united against the third.
Honestly,
it is staggering
to me that this was never a religion. Go
figure.
There
are
groups of three all over mythology, of course (the three Fates; the
three
Graces), and plenty of individual three-natured divinities (the
Catholic
Trinity; the Greek/Roman Hecate/Trivia, whose feast day it turns out
was just the other day, August 13th,
the day I started writing this essay). But
those groups of three are all on the same
side. I can’t find
any examples of
groups of three that all war against one another via eternally shifting
alliances, except in two mythologies, both relatively recent: one is
the three
superstates of Oceania, Eurasia, and Eastasia in George
Orwell’s 1984...
…and
the other
is the third-rate '80s toy line Battle
Beasts.
I
only knew one
kid who played with Battle Beasts, and I guess I never gave him enough
credit
for being philosophically advanced. At
the time, I vastly preferred Army Ants, which involved only two opposed
forces.