1585-speak

The following are various terms used by the operators of this site in texts found on this site.  1585s are encouraged to begin using them in conversation and in writing, so that they may be disseminated into society at large.  All terms were coined by the operators of this site, unless noted otherwise.


Advirb: (n.)
acronym for Adult Virgin By Choice; someone who thinks that not having sex makes them some kind of freakin’ hero.  Usually a Christian, but the phenomenon is also found in straightedge punk and some types of Feminism.  (see also Ansy/Ansies; Neuvirs)
Ansy/Ansies: (n.)
shorthand for people or philosophies that are Anti-Sex, e.g. certain religions, certain schools of Feminism, etc.  (see also Posy/Posies)
Arpjay: (n.)
acronym for Actual Real-Person Jesus.  (see also Farpjay)
Asshole/Loser Complex: (n.)
distaff of the Virgin/Whore Complex centered on men, whereby every guy who is not an asshole is a loser, and every guy who is not a loser is an asshole.
Farpjay: (n.)
acronym for Fake-Ass Republican Jesus.  (see also Arpjay)
Goparg: (n.)
a young woman who, although she actually agrees with the Democrats on most issues, still identifies herself as a Republican because she fears that being associated with Feminism would make her seem less sexually attractive; acronym for Grand Old Party-Girl.  Many businesswomen and sorority girls are Gopargs.  (see also Natapus)
Hybridiots: (n.)
people who simultaneously believe the stupidest Left-wing P.C. stuff and the stupidest Right-wing religious stuff—e.g., believing that there's no such thing as intelligence or talent and that Noah's Ark really happened; believing that all the world's problem's are the result of low self-esteem and that it should be illegal to make fun of religion.  Phenomenon observed almost exclusively in members of Generation Y and the Millennials.  (see also Hybrintellectuals)
Hybrintellectuals: (n.)
people who bravely progress beyond cliches and talking-points, thereby risking the scorn of their friends, to realize that both the Left and the Right have good points to make on various issues.  NOTE: this does not mean that the correct position is always a compromise or synthesis—merely that neither the Left nor the Right sees things 100% accurately all of the time; it is of course possible for either the Left or the Right to be utterly right or wrong on any one specific issue.  Examples: Camille Paglia, Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, Bill Maher, Andrew Sullivan, Sam Harris.  NOTE: none of these people is right 100% of the time either... except Dawkins.  (see also Hybridiots)
ILP: (n.)
acronym for Intra-Left Paradox; a situation where two different subgroups on the political Left disagree or feud with each other.  For example, the difficulty created by the fact that many Hip-Hop artists write sexist or homophobic lyrics.  (see also IRP)
IRP: (n.)
acronym for Intra-Right Paradox; a situation where two different subgroups on the political Right disagree or feud with each other.  Because the Right is more homogeneous by nature, and because Right-wing pawns follow orders from their leaders more blindly than do people on the Left, IRPs arise far less often than ILPs.  For example, the Republican policy of tax cuts for the rich technically contradicts Christianity, but no-one on the Right seems to care.  (see also ILP)
Linchpin Theory: (n.)
the Theory stating that most people develop political orientations by first forming an opinion about a “pet” issue that is important to them, picking a Party based on that, and then simply convincing themselves of the truth of all the other arguments made by that Party, lest their “pet” opinion seem “false by association.”
Mitswab: (n.)
the cliched and unimaginative classical idea of an anthropomorphic male God who walks around on clouds, wears a long white robe, and throws lightning bolts at you.  Acronym for Man In The Sky With A Beard.  (NOTE: If you believe in Him, it means you’re Dumb; seek help immediately… from us!)
Moogwad: (n.)
Insulting term invented by 1585, to be used to refer to any and all people who suck as a group; since there are no defining characteristics aside from the person/people being not you and disliked, widespread dissemination and usage of this term is intended to replace actual prejudice.  Acronym for Member Of Other Group We All Dislike.
Moreanoia: (n.)
the paranoia exhibited by UREGs when they are faced with inquiry into taboo topics like gender and race, because they are afraid of what they might find out; after the Mines of Morea in Tolkien, where the dwarves awoke ancient demons by “digging too greedily into the bowels of the Earth.”  Okay, that one's for the nerds; you don't have to say it when there are chicks around.  (see also UREG)
Natapus: (n.)  (pl. natapi)
a young male who, although he actually agrees with the Democrats on most issues, still identifies himself as a Republican because he is a “tough guy” or, as he would put it, “not a pussy” (hence the name).  Many frat-boys are natapi.  (see also Goparg)
Neuvir(s): (n.)
shorthand for Neutral Virtues, a term coined by Lord Byron in the notes to The Vision of Judgment; refers to traditional ideas of “morality” that are more about showing off and self-importance than actually helping anyone else or making the world a better place, e.g. not swearing, not drinking, sexual abstinence, etc.  (see also Farpjay)
Permanent Defense: (n.)
a rhetorical stance where someone will only state what they believe to be wrong or false but never what they believe to be right or true—as in the case of a Democratic politician who will say that homophobia is “mean,” but is reluctant to explicitly state that there is nothing wrong with being gay; or who will say that religious beliefs can “make people uncomfortable,” but stops short of saying that the religious beliefs are not true.  Named after an old football coach’s habit of punishing his players by giving the opposing team possession of the ball the entire time during exhibition scrimmages.
POP: (v.)
acronym for Politically Oppositing [based on] Personality; occurs when, because a person doesn’t like someone for social reasons, they improvise an argument about disliking them for political reasons, even though their description of the other person’s politics is inaccurate. “Josh isn’t really a Conservative—Emily’s just totally POPing him because he dumped her friend!”
Posy/Posies: (n.)
shorthand for people or philosophies that are Pro-Sex, e.g. Romanticism, 1585, etc.  (see also Ansy/Ansies)
Shaddage: (n.)
shorthand for Shadow Knowledge; refers to any and all systems of made-up “knowledge” considered by their adherents to be superior to, “realer” than, or acting in place of actual knowledge.  Permutations of religion that contradict or stand in place of science are shaddage.  (see also Farpjay; UREG)
Skof: (n.) /  Skoffy (adj.) 
derived from acronym for Stupid Kind of Feminist; refers to women (and some men) who, instead of concentrating on legitimately interesting stuff about gender or tactics that will actually help to advance the position of women, just talk shit about women who wear high heels and scream about how everyone should be fat or something.  There's this skof in my Lit class who won't shut up about how adjectives should be illegal.”  Drinks were okay, except Cherry brought along some ugly girl who kept being skoffy about the hot waitress.”
UREG: (n.)
acronym for Ultra-Rousseauist Egalitarian(ism); refers to any and all far-Left philosophies that deny nature by advancing false beliefs in the name of equality, or to any person who espouses such beliefs.  (see also ILP)


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