(pronounced fifteen-eighty-five)
I. 1585s are utterly free of supernatural beliefs. This goes for both “conservative” supernatural beliefs like a literalist God, as well as “liberal” ones like karma and dreamcatchers. NOTE: This does not apply to things that are simply unproven, like alternative medicine or yeti; those things can be cool and interesting, as long as you are not a big dork about them.
II. 1585s are pro-sex. Every movement needs to have a position on sex, and our position on sex is that it is totally awesome. As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult who isn’t deceiving or hurting anyone in any way, then you’re not doing anything wrong, be you gay, straight, man, woman, kinky, vanilla, etc. And please don’t confuse celebration of sexuality with sexism, as so many do these days. Sexual power and accomplishment are to be celebrated in women and men equally, and 1585 is wholly compatible with many forms of Feminism.
III. 1585s are pro-argument. We reject the idea that, in cases where two or more people disagree, the “polite” thing to do is drop the subject. We believe that, whenever possible, the argument should continue until either the person who's right convinces the person who's wrong, or until all the participants have made their cases fully and clearly and no more progress can be made without beating a dead horse. “Agreeing to disagree” should only take place when argument is impossible, or when the matter is either trivial or entirely subjective. 1585s realize that arguing is not the same thing as fighting, and stress that all arguments and debates should be conducted in a civilized and philosophically sound manner. The fact that arguing itself is considered “impolite” is precisely the reason that most people never learn how to argue politely, and the ability of the people to argue politely is essential to a democracy.
IV. 1585s strongly oppose using jealousy as a foundation for sociopolitical stances. 1585s may not oppose Science because they are jealous of intelligent people, oppose Art because they are jealous of talented people, oppose sexuality because they are jealous of attractive people, oppose physicality because they are jealous of athletes, and so forth. People who are superior to you in some way are to be admired and celebrated, not resented. NOTE: This does not necessarily mean that in any case where Person A dislikes Person B and Person B says “you’re just jealous,” we automatically agree with Person B. Sometimes, there are very valid reasons to dislike someone, even though said person or persons may accuse you of being “jealous”—only you know for sure, so 1585s pledge to thoroughly examine their own emotional motivations for their views in order honestly to determine whether they are rooted in simple jealously as opposed to a legitimate grievance.
V. 1585s believe that it is always better to believe something true than something false, in all possible cases, about all possible subjects, even when it would make people “feel better” to believe the false thing. By extension, it is also always better to say something true than something false. But please spare us the standard examples about your mom asking you how dinner was or your girlfriend asking you if she looks fat—we are not third-graders, and we are not stand-up comics. We are talking about when it comes to important things. NOTE: Some might try to say that this applies to P.C. euphemisms, but using one word in place of another is not exactly an issue of "true" vs. "false," and besides, 1585s have no need, except in an analytic capacity, to use any of the words these euphemisms are replacing, since we are not racist, sexist, or homophobic; so while we do not believe in “bad” words necessarily, we also do not consider it “brave” to say them simply for the sake of saying them; if you want to be “brave,” there are way more important “brave” things to do than insult someone who never did anything to you just to annoy someone else. NOTE: This maxim is intended to apply to adults and young adults; 1585 is not necessarily against saying “fanciful” things to very young children, e.g., Santa Claus; the question of whether very young children should be presented with strict reality is a matter for child psychologists, and we defer to their expertise. NOTE: This does not mean that one is always obliged to volunteer information if asked; it is perfectly acceptable to tell someone that something is none of their business, and even to lie in extreme circumstances (e.g., denying that you are gay to someone who intends to beat you up for being gay).
VI. 1585s reject the idea that there is a moral imperative to be sad/depressed, or that it is morally questionable or unintellectual to be happy. Because it is a hard thing to be a smart person in America these days—whether you are a student still in school or an adult who has graduated into the world of politics—and because many smart people sometimes feel depressed as a result of this, many smart people have begun to internalize their oppression and view sadness as a necessary condition of intelligence. But this does no-one any good—it makes smart people less capable of carrying out the responsibilities they have as smart people, and it makes people who could be smart not want to be. We love and respect great depressed artists like Vincent van Gogh and Kurt Cobain, but believe that they should be celebrated for their accomplishments, not their depression. There is certainly no need to pretend to be more depressed than you are in order to emulate great depressed geniuses—if you are actually depressed by nature, then depression will happen naturally. 1585s are strongly encouraged to engage in activities that make them happy on a regular basis, as long as these activities do not interfere with the happiness of anyone else (who doesn't deserve to have their happiness interfered with). NOTE: 1585 neither encourages nor condemns the taking of medication for depression or other mood disorders, believing that such decisions must be made on a case-by-case basis; we do believe that society in general is overmedicated, and that Americans are often too quick to embrace pharmaceutical solutions when non-pharmaceutical solutions may be possible, but then again there are also a lot of people who are better off with the meds, and we can’t tell you which kind you are because we don’t know you and we're not doctors.
VII. 1585s engage in regular physical exercise. Exercise has been getting a bad rap lately, with both the Right and the Left condemning it as superficial. But exercise is not automatically about “beating people up” or a matter of “looking good for other people” (i.e., it is neither inherently dominant nor inherently submissive). Finding in-shape people attractive is not a reaction that is the result of “brainwashing” by “the media”—it is encoded in our genes. If you believe that people who are pro-exercise have been “influenced” by others, consider the fact that people who are anti-exercise have also been influenced by others, to no lesser a degree. It is impossible to avoid being “influenced”—there is only the question of whether you are being influenced in a positive way or being influenced in a negative way. Using and developing our physical bodies is not “unnatural”—living in a society where technology keeps us from ever having to use them in the first place is what's “unnatural.”
VIII. 1585s engage in confidence-building exercises. Confidence is not a weapon you develop in order to hurt others; it is a form of psychological health that allows you to be the best person you can be—remember that most mean people are mean because they lack confidence themselves and seek to build up their own confidence by putting down others who may not deserve it (whereas putting down people who do deserve it is awesome); if they had already built up their confidence in more constructive ways, then they would be nicer. Do things that make you feel smart, like putting time aside to learn more about a subject that interests you, and do things that make you feel attractive, like getting all dressed up and going out and flirting with people—the second activity may seem more “superficial” than the first, but feeling attractive boosts your confidence, and this gives you the energy necessary to engage in more “meaningful” activities.
IX. 1585s believe that it is the responsibility of the gifted to educate, protect, and ultimately empower the pre-gifted, if possible. There is a lot of talk about intelligence and talent on this site, and we even throw around words like “superior” from time to time. But, although we encourage admiration and celebration of the gifted, we also encourage all attempts to extend the umbrella of giftedness as far as possible. This dynamic cuts to the heart of the problem with contemporary politics: Conservatives encourage gifted people to be selfish with their giftedness, and Liberals simply ignore the existence of giftedness because acknowledging it might make less-gifted people feel bad. 1585 joyfully acknowledges giftedness of all stripes, but demands that it be used for generous and uplifting purposes instead of selfish ones. Some of our rhetoric may make some people “feel bad” in the short term, but it is all designed to benefit humanity in the long run.
X. Obligatory Condemnation of Violence. Okay, whenever you start a movement, club, society, trend, or whatever, you have to have some official thing where you say “no violence,” so here it is. We are basically philosophers, so it didn’t even occur to us at first that we needed to say anything about violence, since violence has nothing to do with our project, but since this is on the Web, there’s always the possibility that some retard will read it and then beat somebody up for some reason that makes no sense and then we’ll get blamed. As a general rule, 1585 is against violent solutions as long as non-violent solutions are possible. We do favor argument and intellectual domination over “compromise” and “politeness,” but we want to be very careful to distinguish intellectual violence (which is awesome) from physical violence (which is bad). That being said, we don’t want to categorically forbid all violence, because we believe that if someone hits you, you should be able to hit them back. That is the problem with movements: if you announce that you are a nonviolent movement, then people will just walk up to you and start punching you and then laugh because you don’t do anything back; but if you don’t announce that you are a nonviolent movement, then people suspect that you are going to start going around punching people. As far as intervening when you see someone else getting picked on… that’s a tough one. It seems like a good idea, but then again, you don’t want to start acting like a superhero or something, because then assholes will start fucking with people even more just as an excuse to get to fight you. Hopefully, stuff like this is not even relevant to your life if you are no longer in high school. So, to review: 1585s cannot start fights or go around physically intimidating people, and we’re also throwing in a ban on destruction of property while we’re at it—and that includes hacking and other dishonorable forms of fucking with people via the web too. Basically, if you have a problem with something, you write an essay where you prove it sucks, or you do nothing.
